Assalamualaikum n good day y'all.....
Been lately feel lonely... It's not that I'm alone or what... It's like you feel something missing in the picture... Yeah if you guess it...it'll be a baby....
Since my first miscarriage the doctor told me that I can get pregnant easily no excuse ....I was like ok, this could be good....eating folic acid, drink a lot of water no cold drinks...went for mengurut (confinement massage (in my terms)) for almost few months.....I was really tired...super tired...weak...feverish vomitting but nothing come out......I swear I thought I'm having implantation bleeding (I googled it, lol) I'm excited yeah... Somehow I felt super dizzy, cramps so bad....went to the clinic after work...it could be worst
Never thought in my mind... I'm actually not pregnant... Well yeah...it's been hard for me....cause I loved babies so much I even offer to someone and ask if I can babysit at least for 1 day?? Yeah I do.... My husband kept telling me to be patient...oh well....since he's been watching baby videos n kept touching my belly...rubbing it...it hurts me somehow.... I even wonder what did I do wrong again? I followed all the advises, the techniques, what you should not do...the dos and donts....I feel life is nothing but unfairness....! I blamed almost everything include myself! WHY CAN'T I GET PREGNANT??!! Why God punished me so much till' I can't get a child?! That's how I tell myself....I'm not being physically hating myself for it but....sooner or later....I accept the fact and move on....
Been a while now....and I started to accept it and make myself busy...even when to think of it...I manage to pull it off....went for adventure with my husband....rest off for the weekends.... Cooking cleaning is my weekend routine.... If got overtime I'll work....most important to do is prayers.....never stop praying and ask for blessings.... In shaa Allah... It'll help to ease the burden of over thinking... Although I kept seeing baby videos and such..... I kept telling to myself 'Dont worry....one fine day you'll have one in shaa Allah'....
Day be day...you'll learn new thing.... Stop pleasing people...stop thinking of something don't bring good to you nor to your body....be happy 😊
That's all I can Say.....
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